Authentically Ourselves (Pt. 2)

I know it’s easier said than done. But for me accepting myself (which I still work on), comes down to this: If I let others decide who and what I should be, who benefits? When I answer, truth be told, it’s no one. No one at the end of the day is going to benefit from me trying to be something I’m not. At least, I will not reap the reward or become better because of it. Even if society wants people to feel inadequate, they do not benefit from having someone actually change; they only gain something from our unquenchable thirst of wanting to change and selling the idea that it’s somehow possible. And in trying to fit everyone else’s status quo, people lose themselves in the shuffle instead.

If I cannot be completely myself and I do not honor who I am, I am the one who gets hurt. I am the one who suffers. There will always be another opinion of the pinnacle person that we should strive to become. The realistic thing to reach for is trying to be the optimal version of ourselves. We do this by having integrity: sticking to our values, standing up for those beliefs, and doing the best we can to appreciate what we’re already capable of giving. Self-improvement in terms of our virtues or mastering new knowledge and skills are important. Wanting change for ourselves can be good, as long as these things don’t alter the essence of who we are. Maybe someone chooses to have surgery to change their appearance, let it not be because they feel they are not enough. Let it be because they hope to become more recognizable to themselves. It’s not in our human nature to be gods, (models of perfection), it’s our ability to overcome our own weaknesses to be better people. 

In general, I feel the average person becomes disinterested by those that put on airs or who they can sense are not being genuine. More importantly, we shouldn’t want to be around people who prevent us from being entirely ourselves. And I wouldn’t want someone trying to be with me if they felt they couldn’t be their true self. I would hope that they didn’t felt this way, but I know that people should only be with those who know they matter. And if everyone can find people that know we matter, we will all be happier for it. And to find these wonderful individuals more easily, we have to validate ourselves first. When we have this deep acceptance and love for our own being, confidence will shine through. This will naturally lead us to have an uplifting aura, because we are being good to ourselves; and that will gravitate the right kind of people towards us.

In being authentically who we are, we let in those who are going to truly want to care about us. They become our cheerleaders, encouraging us to be our best throughout. And if they continue to admire and/or love us in spite of the faults, scars, and mistakes that we are, they will be the most loyal, truest, and worthy of friends. These loved ones will make us feel the most seen, safe, and accepted. Moreover, to create this kind of wholesome relationship, we have to be willing to be vulnerable and open to our truest identity. We have to hold vigilante to our standards and not settle for someone who only accepts us partially. There is just too much breath wasted attempting what we can’t be, rather than strengthening what we are. Let us all be original masterpieces, for they are more precious than copy prints.