Change is Hard

Charles Darwin’s “Survival of the Fittest,” exemplifies how living organisms that were capable of biologically evolving and adapting to a changed environment, increased the survival odds of their species. And no other species on Planet Earth has changed their environment more drastically or rapidly like Homo Sapiens. It is no wonder we as humans have such difficulties in life. In such a short span, just one human life, we are confronted with multiple decisions; like navigating a mine field with traps in every corner. When you consider it, adolescence has more milestones than a highway.

It’s these constant changes that challenge us every step of the way. In life, things cannot remain the same. From one instance to another, change occurs. The world is shifting constantly. And for people like me, it can be hard to deal with change. Generally, I’m glad things change, not only because change is good, but I like how life makes things interesting as it keeps me on my toes. But I’m also a creature of habit. I like when things are predictable, because I like having a sense of understanding and control over my life. What I have just said seems to contradict itself. However, this is where the split is: Emotionally, I have a hard time with change; while rationally, I believe change is necessary and an integral part of life.

There are of course experiences we endure that are not changes we would have chosen for ourselves. These changes come in the form of hardships, heartache, and grief. They can be times in our life when we do not get a job, lose a loved one, or when our life plans cancel altogether. I know 2020 changed many of us, in ways that we will be learning to cope with for years to come. It was not the outcome or event that any of us saw coming. But when life throws us these curveballs, truth be told, we are lucky if we do not end up hit or bruised along the way. I am not one to simply say, “If life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” Let us be fair, sometimes life hands us rotten lemons and in those moments, we have to gut up the courage to throw out a bad bunch. To put it another way, now and then, there are people and situations in our lives that in the end are not good for us, and it can be uncomfortable to remove ourselves from harmful individuals or surroundings. These tribulations we undergo are often a lengthy and overwhelming process. Occasionally, the only path of escape in a burning house, is the one forward, straight through the flames. Essentially, some adversities will leave us with burns and scars. And yet, I think most of us would rather risk being hurt along the way, if it means a chance at a continued and fulfilling life.

For some, to cope when life presents painful moments, they justify it by believing that some deity or higher spiritual power is ‘testing’ them. I like to think that every breath is a test of life. We never know when we will have that last inhale or if our hearts will beat again. By saying this, it is not my intent that you will become fearful or anxious about your impending doom. As morbid as this got, it is about reminding us that even the ‘good’ things in life are tests too, as much as the suffering we encounter. We cannot have one without the other. For the sake of finding love, we challenge ourselves by being vulnerable and intimate. Or when we want to master a new skill or feat, we push our minds and bodies to accomplish it, even at the expense of falling again and again.

The interesting stories we hear, watch, or read frequently begin with life as monotonous or repetitious. Perhaps even in our own lives we become oblivious to living uniformly day in and day out. And that is okay. I am not suggesting that we all have to experience momentous changes every second. I completely relate to enjoying when life is foreseeable because it means it is reliable. There is a sense of security in being assured that our life will continue as we expect. However, we must not be naïve in thinking it will always be that way. And it is dangerous to hold onto life as we wish it once was. For no matter how much we wish for things to not change around us, it will only leave us falling behind as it continues on. Change is inevitable. And it’s healthy. Change gives us opportunities to evaluate our lives, to try new things, to live and have experiences that shape us in wonderful ways that we might not have imagined. Change is a motivator. It is what gives our life meaning.

When I think about impactful moments in my life, I realise that they were all points of change. It doesn’t mean at the time, that I enjoyed the change or that it was any easier to go through, even as I consider now, how necessary it was. Nevertheless, change forces us to learn, adapt, and grow. At least, that’s the hope. That is why I invite change and different experiences, thereby allowing me to expand my mind through the acquisition of knowledge, and to strengthen my resilience to overcome obstacles. If we allow life to follow its course and we let ourselves to move with it, we will have changed. And this change often means we become better people or better versions of ourselves. For its our ability to change, that we do not just survive, but that we thrive in life too.