Another Year Gone
This year reminded me to appreciate the good in things when I felt at my lowest. In the waves of clouds that emerged, I had to search for the horizons bursting through, or otherwise I would have stayed disheartened. I know the growth of character comes from what we have yet to learn about, which is why in just a few days, I will be embarking on one of the biggest changes I have made thus far. Over these past months, I found myself taking on new experiences, challenges, and exploring different relationships than I had before. It was difficult and even heartbreaking occasionally. One friend of mine wondered why I would even go through these risks and put my heart on the line in the first place. She could only see the fear. Yet, what is the point of life if we do not take leaps into the daunting unknown? For some challenges, the greater the strife the more reward for having conquered it. That is not to say that everything will reap benefits just for experiencing something difficult. I have not always enjoyed these “lessons” that I’ve ended up facing, but there is a personal sense of accomplishment for having not given up despite that being the easier option. And well–with love–there is no reward without some risks. I cannot have predicted how these experiences or relationships would have gone, but that does’t mean I shouldn’t have tried. All that mattered was that I didn’t spend long dwelling on the pain or confusion of how things went, and instead focused on the next chapter of my life. I reminded myself, that like all feelings even the pain is temporary.
It might sound strange to my friend and it is not immediately believable to myself, yet I realise how lucky I am to have been through the pain and sadness I have felt throughout this year. It is a privilege to know joy even when it may have been short with those I wished it had lasted with. So, as this year ends I shall say “goodbye” to the many pitfalls and fears I had to face. I shall greet my pain as an old friend and thank it for showing me what wasn’t good for me. I will leave those aches in the past and enter this year anew. If we strengthen our relationships with loved ones and have them close, then leaping forward is just that much easier. Our friends and family are those who we can rely on when we find ourselves in need. We cannot necessarily control the dangers that might happen nor the hurt that could come, only that we build ourselves strong enough to bounce back when things do go awry.
Pain and suffering are the bargain for our human lives. And I would choose to risk and challenge myself any day for the kind of person I become from these lessons I endure. In every way, I wish to keep these afflictions to a minimum when possible. But I will not let them keep me down. The scrapes and bruises make me a gentler person, like a waterfall that chips away the sharpness and roughness of my rocky exterior. For everything we are without, it only makes the gems we possess more special. The world is not pretty but it is made more beautiful by the rarity of those pleasures that I have the fortune to witness. To put it plainly, there are always wondrous things to be found in life, should we keep our hearts and eyes open to experience them. These reminders I take with me into the new year. I know at times I will feel lost, overwhelmed, and confused more than I can count. However, I have the warmth of good memories, the laughter shared with friends, and the nerve to take on the world. Here I come!