An American in Paris

Although I was limited by where and how much I could travel during the Covid-19 Pandemic, I felt I must take advantage of my time in Europe while I was staying there. Each of the cities I chose were conveniently situated along the Eurostar train line. If you are ever in debate about the best way to travel, avoiding airports can save you a lot of time, hassle, and security stress. The trains often take you directly into the heart of a city where you find yourself stepping right into the bustle. It’s as if one dissolves from a weary tourist to a common commuter milling about their day.

Over a year ago, I went back to Paris excited at the idea of revisiting a place I’d seen as a child. It was an aspiration of mine to not only go to novel places but to return to familiar ones and discover them anew as the version of myself I had now become. I had been studying French for the past few years on and off and naturally I wanted to test how much of it I had actually retained. Let me tell you I knew absolutely (pardon my French) bugger all. I panicked when I found myself surrounded by strangers who I wouldn’t be able to connect with. I was in a city I hadn’t seen for over a decade. My interactions were brief encounters of ordering a dish or requesting directions. I was on my own. I had no contact to rely on and no other person to share this strain with. I was utterly and completely by myself; a dreading sense of loneliness began to set in. I was regretting leaving London and the comfort of my friends. Sure, it could be difficult at times to understand the English accents, yet they liked when people wanted to know more about their culture. In France, politeness went a long way, but there was no real warmth in their presence. Even though Parisians may come across thousands of tourists a year, they remain apathetic in their spirits to newcomers. Let this not alarm you as an affront, rather they do not take it upon themselves to welcome strangers. Americans are most shocked by this behaviour because we are more socially inclined to people please.

So here I was totally overwhelmed with self-pity, I nearly forgot to appreciate the gorgeous scenery. In the same way others have found themselves in Paris, I gravitated to Tour Eiffel and waited on a bridge to witness the lights that sparkled the tower. Various couples and friends I noticed were taking pictures of the aesthetic site. Locks with initials written on them could be seen attached to the bridge. I later found out that the bridges had more locks, but the city had to take them down because it was causing the bridges to sink. Who knew so much love could weigh a city down? Paris has always been a place of dreamers or soul searchers, and I was one of them. As most first days go when you are adjusting to somewhere new, it requires a mental will to continue on. I trudged along the Seine taking it one step at a time. I enjoyed the boats that passed by with friendly passengers waving to anyone who might take notice. The city was mesmerising the way everything glistened. When dusk became darkness the window shops and restaurants became brighter, enticing hungry travellers to rest their worn out feet. I smiled to myself as my breath in the cold crisp night created fog, nearly indistinguishable from the cigarette smoke billowing all around. A stillness set in giving me the hope for a better tomorrow.