Ramblings
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Seated on a High Chair
A few years ago in the summer, I was a nanny to two adorable children. And looking back, I learned more from these tiny adults disguised as toddlers, than I ever did as a train-wreck in my teens. I will tell you why. Children know a try-hard faker from miles away–it’s their sixth sense. We can act proud, provide great wisdom, even think we are sounding profound, but they call out our bullsh*t sooner than we realise it is coming out of our arses. Which is why, whatever you do, it’s best to avoid any sanctimonious lessons. It will haunt you… On a late afternoon, the kids I was nannying…
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My London Life
It surprised me, how quickly I found that London was the perfect place for me to live. It wasn’t the location that made it right, it was the people I came to know along the way. Even when the work got hard, even when I was traveling in Europe, I looked forward to the familiar faces I had become accustomed to seeing. In the canteen, I would search the crowds for my friends. I wanted to hear about their day, share stories, enjoy the laugh of good company. Many gatherings consisted of outings in the park, just reading or talking with one another as we basked in the sun (or…
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A Walk to Remember
The sound of rushing water always bring a sense of nostalgia. I listen to it as I calm my ever-racing mind. I am both present and absent from the world. I glide my feet as it takes me from the congested streets down the quiet rose filled Regent’s Park. I’ve brought a small snack of cheese and fruit to nibble on, while I read a book on a nearby bench. The wind is quite strong but I simply hug myself closer. What could be more peaceful? Soon the darkness sets in and I can no longer read the words on the page. I continue my journey home through new alleyways…
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‘Americanisms’ the English didn’t know existed…
Where do I begin? Do you know how you’re doing a task and after some time you realise there would have been an easier way to do it, but because you are too stubborn and nearly done you continue to spend extra time struggling, doing something the harder way? Yeah, well that’s basically what it’s like to be an American in a nutshell. Seriously, why do we still think it’s better to measure in cups rather than in grams? Do we know there is a better way, or do we just delight in being different? I’m presuming the latter is true. Anyway it was to my surprise that in coming…
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Another Year Gone
This year reminded me to appreciate the good in things when I felt at my lowest. In the waves of clouds that emerged, I had to search for the horizons bursting through, or otherwise I would have stayed disheartened. I know the growth of character comes from what we have yet to learn about, which is why in just a few days, I will be embarking on one of the biggest changes I have made thus far. Over these past months, I found myself taking on new experiences, challenges, and exploring different relationships than I had before. It was difficult and even heartbreaking occasionally. One friend of mine wondered why…
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The Remains of My Home
Imagine a lone sailor out on the Pacific Ocean, with North America on one side and the Asian continent on the other. This sailor is stuck between two ‘islands’, two worlds that are not quite home. I am this traveler who glances in the water to see my reflection. Only then do I see the lines and scars that are proof of my history. Our bodies become the place where our past leaves its mark. As a Chinese adoptee, the history of my birth culture is embedded in the strands of my DNA and left on the tastebuds that make me crave Chinese cuisine. My parents and their Euro-American history…
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Into the Mist
If I was to simplify adolescence into a phrase, I would say it was, “constantly arriving at a crossroad.” Where time and time again, we must weigh the options of our life choices. Whether to study in college, what degree, what kind of job, what sort of lifestyle, who do we want to be? These questions are like mantras keeping us in an endless loop of doubt. We can suffocate in fear of doing wrong; which leads to inaction. Some people follow after what their parents have done either from obligation or convenience. Some have only one concern, of whether there will be food on the table. These life choices,…
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Authentically Ourselves (Pt. 2)
I know it’s easier said than done. But for me accepting myself (which I still work on), comes down to this: If I let others decide who and what I should be, who benefits? When I answer, truth be told, it’s no one. No one at the end of the day is going to benefit from me trying to be something I’m not. At least, I will not reap the reward or become better because of it. Even if society wants people to feel inadequate, they do not benefit from having someone actually change; they only gain something from our unquenchable thirst of wanting to change and selling the idea…
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Walking Away
Ever had a terrible boss or bully that you wish you had the guts to give them a piece of your mind? The kind of taking the last word to an all time show stopping sentence that is witty, bad ass, poignant, drop-the-mic, peace out energy. This sort of momentous jaw-dropping scene is something I would wholeheartedly want to see, but realistically, I doubt I’ll ever experience. I absolutely praise other people who do get their wonderful poetic justice, but I’ve actually never had a moment where I wanted or needed to do that. I’ve had some wonderful bosses (so far) and I’ve had what I would call “unofficial bullies”.…
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Write for the Rubbish
If you are a person who writes often, whether as an author, journalist, musician, or even a student, you may well know this phrase: “Write for the trashcan.” This phrase is intended to help people learn that we can’t write perfect published works on the first go, but that it takes numerous drafts, edits, and revisions. If you think about it, our daily life is one draft after another. It’s about attempting to do what is right, saying what you really need, and trying to reach to some ideal, yet always waking up to another draft to try it all again. I probably spend too much time wanting to achieve…